Grubs Subs Collector – Chopper Parody Played By Merv Hughes


(gun shooting) – Hey Hammy, Skip’s moving a
bit of this stuff then is he? – Yeah mate, he’s actually the Cottee’s Sales and
Distribution Manager for the entire eastern suburbs. – Really. So he’s doing well for himself then? – Yeah. – You reckon he’ll be
able to pay his subs? – Ah, no mate. I don’t reckon he’ll go for that. – Well **** him. He’s gonna have to go for it. Hey Skipper. Skipper. Hey Skip. I hear you wanted to pay me your subs. – Oh yeah, where’d you hear that? – It’s just a Greg Male. I can collect them now if you like. – No I think someone’s
pulling your leg stump Merv. – Yeah, I’ll go full
Virat Kohli in a minute and pull your other two **** stumps. Now how much do you wanna give me? – Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m the local cricket skipper. Do you remember or did you
leave your memory in the jungle with those other washed-up celebrities. You **** idiot. – Oh sorry, was I being rude? – Yes, you’re being very **** rude. You ***** dickhead. Hammy, get him a drink. And behave! I said behave. Can you believe this ****? – I’m sorry Skip. I’m just giving him a bit of a sledge. Skip, I’m sorry. Mate where are ya? Skipper, Skipper where are ya? Mate, I’m sorry. I’m sorry Skip. I’ve had a couple of
lime cordials, I’m sorry. – I don’t know who you
think you’re talking to but you’re being very rude. Understand? Very, very rude. Rambo? – Very rude. (crunching biscuit) – But seriously Skip, how
are ya holding for subs? – Listen, what are you talking about? – Subs. – There’s no subs here. Here, no subs. Subs, no. Rambo? – No subs. – I tell you what. You try gettin’ from where
you’re sittin’ to the front door. Because that’s about as much time as you’ve got to produce
some subs for me right now. I’ll give you 20 seconds
to produce some subs or I’ll ****’ bounce ya. One, two, three– – You come in here, you have lime coolas – Four, five, six. – You’re looked after.
– Sit the *** down. Eight, nine, 10
– Are you kidding me? – 11, 12, 13
– You haven’t even offered me a payment plan for the subs.
– 14, 15, 16, 17. – Get my red rag Rambo. – Don’t worry about the ***’ red rag, get the **** subs. 18, 19
– Merv, sit down! – 20! (gun shooting) (yelling) – [Man] Got him! – So it’s agreed, you’ll
send through a payment plan? – Okay, that’s settled. I’ll be off then. – Hey Merv, can I get a lift home? – Why would I bounce a bloke
at a hundred mile an hour, bang, and wizz you off home? Defeats the purpose of having bounced him in the first place. What do I look like? Mervyn **** Uber Hughes? – [Man] Bowlers name!

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